8 Years since life changed

Hello my dear friends,
I wanted to share something with all of you that is deeply personal and emotional but at the same time true to who I am and how I find strength and my inner spirit.
Yesterday April 30th, was exactly 8 years ago since my life was changed. It was the same kind of weather and the same smell in the air, it was the day I snapped my spine which was the start of this journey. I say my life has changed and I do not say my life was "turned upside down" or "it was devastated". I wish I could say I believed this from day one, but that would be a lie. If I was writing this even 3 years ago, I would have said "8 years since my life was devastated with pain and suffering” Although I still have constant pain and I identify myself as a person with pain, I know now, that I do not have to suffer and I also know I can and will have a fulfilling life even with pain.

I know how much we all have to offer even with our new bodies and our new “normal”. It took a long time for me to say that April 30th is not a bad anniversary nor do I believe it is a good anniversary, I do however think of it as a point in my life where I changed and found who I was and who I always have been. I feel one of our biggest steps as a person with pain is finding one another. It has changed my life knowing I am not alone, that I am understood, believed and cared for on such a deep level. I know my life is so much more fulfilling and wonderful since I have met each and every one of you. In fact you have all reduced my suffering and I am so grateful to all of you. Each and every one of you may not know it but you give me the strength and courage to keep fighting and you give me the inspiration to make sure others know how important this is.

After years of grief of the death of “Paul” as I identified “Paul” to be, I realized something which is true for all of us. My body has changed and is extremely different then I was use to but my inner self, my spirit, my soul, my higher self, or whatever you want to call it was exactly the same. The pain may have fogged this up with emotional, mental and physical suffering and I may not have seen it right away but I really was the same inside. We all are the same no matter what and we all have so much to offer just by being and not by doing. We offer love, kindness, strength, caring, concern, advice, support, connections, inspiration, and so much more. No amount of pain can take this away from any of us. No amount of physical change can stop this about us. It may get lost in our minds but I promise you it is there and we are here to help you get there and to see it.

I vow to everyone that you can have a fulfilling life despite the pain. We may not be able to take away your physical pain but we will work as hard as you do to reduce the suffering part of pain. Together we can make change in each other’s life and help end our suffering. As I was taught from Nicole, I am not a pain sufferer I am a person with pain. I am a pain survivor a pain warrior, because each day I wake up and live with pain and still get through the day. Pain is like an unwanted relative, we may have to have them in our life and live with them but we do not have to let them consume us.

So, April 30th is the day that changed my life and in many ways I am grateful for it. I may have asked “why me”, I may have pleaded to end the physical pain and wished that day never happened. I cannot change that day from happening but I certainly have and will continue to change my feelings toward that day and see the blessings it has brought me. It has brought all of you into my life and now I have made a wonderful family of choice which is growing every day.
Thank you for sharing this anniversary with me and for being there to listen, and for sharing. As I like to say, I am wishing you a low pain and a high spirits day.

Paul – Person with Pain