Hi Everyone

Hi gang

I thought I would introduce myself to all of you.  I am Cathy and am 61 years young.  I have been married to my hubby John for 40 years this July!!  I am so blessed to have him in my life.  We have four married adult children and 7 grandchildren.  Six beautiful girls and a handsome little boy!!  BLessed blessed are we.

I was a registerd nurse and worked in Pediatric Oncology and Pediatric ICU for 34 years. I was injured on the job almost 8 years ago.  Being on  L and I, I had to wait for a legal confirmation that I was injured on the job before I could obtain any medical intervention.  I hobbled around on an injured knee for 3 1/2 months and developed incredible pain, burning and spasms etc.

The physical therapists poo poohed it, telling me I was a 'weakling' and needed to buck up.  After I got the notice I could have medical care other than physical therapy, I had a knee scope.  I had seriously damaged my knee cap and was put in a knee brace for nine months.  I was supposedly going to be able to return to work in 6 weeks.

Well, we all know how that can go.  I am still waiting and know that will never happen.  Following my surgery

my knee swelled even more, the pain kept increasing and the burning, tingling, aching stabbing pains grew worse.  I was with the same physical therapists and they kept making me feel stupid.

They determined I didn't want to go back to work and that I was being a big baby.  At the same time my knee did not work well, kept changing color, and wouldn't stop swelling.

Long story short, I  was diagnosed with RSD nine months after my surgery, had been doing the absolute wrong exercises in therapy that were exacerbating  my damaged knee cap and thus began a  7 year journey with Workman's comp.   I was sent to over 40 drs, including pyschiatrists.  Those that worked for workman's comp (all but a handful agreed that I did not have RSD) determined that it was a 'pyschological thing' and I needed intense  mental therapy.

The dr here that I was sent to that was supposed to be 'independent' treated me for three years but always said  I did NOT have RSD and he didn't even believe it existed.

I still get angry when I think of him.  But it doesn't change anything and I have to keep telling myself I was meant to be under his care.  A year ago I was granted a state pension by the state workman's comp board.

I remember my first meeting with the 'occupational guy for workman's comp  and he told my husband and I that they NEVER award pensions and they would not send me back to school because I already had too much of an education etc.

Last January I was granted a pension from the state board of workman's comp.  My lawyer and several drs agreed I needed to stop being sent to drs for workmans comp and be awarded a pension.  They sent letters and documents to the board without telling our hospital insurers.  It worked in my favor.  They protested the award but never moved on that protest.  This past march, my lawyer said that they had a year to further their protest but did nothing.  Now it is too late.  They can no longer park outside my house, follow me around or harass me in any way.  Thank the LORD.

I have spent the past 8 years trying to pretend all was normal, that I did not have RSD, and that my life would somehow  return to normal.  In between those moments I knew my life was what it is today and would not be free of pain, would not give my mobility in my knee back and I wouldn't be returning to any type of employment soon.

Depression has been a big issue but am in therapy and that has helped so much.  I have a terrific husband who supports me more than 100%.  I have a list of drug allergies a mile long trying to find  anything to help ease the pain.  I take ibuprofen for bad days, am on antidepressants for depression as well ad the neuropathy and for aiding in sleep.  I am now seeing a neurologist and taking and anticonvulsant to try to help my facial and tongue pain.

My pain has traveled and is in my entire right side, all of my face, and intermittently in my left side.  If I try to wean down off of my one antidepressant, I have constant pain in my left foot and hand.  I like to not feel that pain on my left side.  It helps me pyschologically.

All of our friends work, our kids live out of the area, and neither family is supportive of my RSD.  It is ignored by siblings and in laws.  Education with them has met resistance and so we never ever discuss it.

When we are with our kids and grandkids I can put on the best act in the world.  I never want my Rsd to be part of our lives together if I can help it. They are always concerned and supportive.

I know they worry about me and they have enough to worry about raising their own families.  They love me so much and I know it hurts them to see me not like I was physically.

Since my injury I have never been able to walk up more than a few stairs.  The pain in both knees now is so awful I can't.  I have to slide up and down on my butt.  I am used to it but it makes others uncomfortable.

Last month I started at our local community college and am working towards a degree in art.  I love art and have never taken art courses since jr high.  It has always been a dream so am following my heart.

It has been tough getting used to the daily grind and the first few weeks were so difficult and exhausting.  It is getting better though and I am loving it.

I hope I can share what I have learned on this journey and be supportive for others here.  I also need support and know we can't go through this  alone.  Somehow knowing others know exactly how it feels to hurt like this is so comforting.  I hate the fact anyone else has to endure this but am here for you.