What Should one do?

Comment

Comment by Giovannni on September 20, 2011 at 12:11pm

Hi everyone, I hope all of you have a great day... It a beautiful day here in nor cal; hot hot hot!!!
Well I wanted to thank Mike for your kind words, trust me i will never try something so selfish ever again. Besides I have way to much to live for; I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful monkeys.
They make me get up everyday regardless of pain, I'm actually writing a book about Sicilian cuisine and learning to cook in pain.. I been thru a lot like most of us we learn things about our self that we were never even aware of.
Mike my email is giodlr11@me.com please feel free to contact me. I made a promise to my self a while ago... And that was that no matter what I will always look forward to enjoy life and to make the best of my circuatances not only for my own piece of mind but my families as well.
I thank you from the bottom of my soul; this place has help me a lot I have connected with people and I do not feel alone anymore..

Thank you all and God Bless

Gio ciao a tutti e buona fortuna

Comment by Stacie Cavallaro on September 20, 2011 at 8:18am

Hi Giovanni,

I haven't written in a while, but when I read your post I felt so badly that I had to write. I am so sorry that you are going through such a bad time.

As far as your insurance problem, I have heard of insurance companies dropping people because of an illness or injury. I think it is so very wrong and it should be against the law. So many changes need to be made with the insurance industry. But anyway,  perhaps if you checked with your local social security administration office, they may be able to help with disability insurance coverage, i.e. medicare plus a supplemental policy.  Our country has laws that are aimed to protect and help people with disabilities and I encourage you to check with various local and federal agencies. I would also suggest that you contact your local legislators for some guidance. One thing which I do not understand ... you wrote that your injury is a result of an auto accident with an uninsured motorist. Where I live in Connecticut, we are required to carry uninsured motorist coverage. This is so that in the event of an accident with someone without insurance, our own insurance would pick up all of the expenses. I am not certain where you live, or if your state has this type of coverage. In any event, there has to be some agency or organization that will be able to assist you in securing medical coverage. Do not give up in your search!!!

I wish you well, and I have confidence that everything will work out for you.

Take care,

Stacie

Comment by Mike Adams on September 20, 2011 at 12:25am

Ciao to you Giovanni,

 

This is certainly bad news and a very big problem for you fratello. The seriousness of your pain and how that affects your life right now is not to be easily dismissed. You have a big problem on your hands and it will take your work, the work of your family, the work of some doctors, and beyond all human effort it will take the work of God. 

 

Maybe it will help a little if I tell you that I can understand your anguish and frustration as a man trying to make a living for a family while not being able to work or even get some financial aid from the one State in the USA who spends trillions on illegal immigrants while a legal immigrant who worked and paid into the system for 20 years is now unable to receive back some of his own money. That should be a crime. I believe we should give assistance to those whose are worthy when we can, and you sound worthy. The illegals have no insurance so they cannot pay for the damage they cause. Sometimes their cars are in such bad shape that they must rent tires for $20.00 to pass inspection. They rent the tires, get their inspection sticker, and then return the rental tires and drive away again on the bad tires. Then, when they have another wreck, off they run again. 

 

You still sound desperate to me my friend. You do not have a plan do you? A plan for discovering what is best for your pain and then finding how to access that treatment. If not in California then possibly somewhere else? I think that is what you may need to do next. You must participate in your own recovery, just as your Grandfather has said to you many years ago, now is the time. 

 

Also, it is impossible to protect your family from all of this pain and anguish you suffer. They go through everything with you do. It is the same for them as you. That means you need to talk to your wife on a regular basis and communicate with her. It is important for your health, and her health, to work with her on a plan that will allow you to improve as much as you are able to my friend. Once you have a short term goal, you may then work towards your long term goals. 

 

You must promise me one thing fratello, if you ever think about using suicide as an escape again you must contact me before you try it. It has been more than 35 years ago for me now, but I also tried it once a very long time ago when I was a very different person. I learned why I tried that desperate act and I am grateful to God for saving me and I have never forgotten why or how I felt. Suicide is never the answer and you can be saved. Nothing is worth what you are worth to your family, friends, and this world. Everyone is a miracle in some way and that includes you. People forget what wonderful things that human beings can be, people take other people for granted, and there is something special in you that can never be replaced. Especially where your family is concerned. 

 

OK, so you promise me that? If you send me your private email address via a PM I will send you mine. That way you can always find me if you need to. Or, if you want to contact someone else, just promise me that, but promise me.

 

Besides we can then talk about the difference between the Sicilian kitchen and the Tuscan kitchen. Marco always teaches me to visit the local Kitchen when traveling so I try to learn what I can.

 

OK, back to sleep. I had surgery 5 days ago and it is hard to sleep still.

 

Ciao!

 

Mike

Comment by Giovannni on September 19, 2011 at 9:34pm

Ciao Mike, 

Thank you for your message, I have CRPS which is very different in my situation because of the increased of the nerve damage; I had some crazy guys back into me while I was coming out of my car. They had no documents, or insurance they were caught 3 weeks later in sacramento, but you know nothing happen because they were deported, but release back into society 1 month after so now they are living in the states and they had nothing against them at all...but thats a totally different story.

I love your story, and your travels...I used to be a chef had my own Sicilian restaurant my grand father thought me everything I knew about food; he had some much passion for food and life that passion was my biggest influence on my personal life. I starting working in restaurants when I was about 17, basically 3 years after I came to the states.

I love it that was my life until that accident, but I'm more than happy to be here in pain but here; I can see my daughters grow and be part of their lives; I'm grateful  for what I have and believe that things happen for a reason.

I had 6 or 7 different procedures the last one was a spinal cord stimulator, that was suppose  to work about 15 to 45 % of taking the pain away. Unfortunately it didn't work that way ad I have been dealing with this for the past 3.5 years and doing my best to find my piece of mind.

 

You know I know only had lost of economics but my whole professional life, a month before the accident I was lucky enough to be nominated the best chef of Marin County near San francisco were I live with my family.

I had created my self a pretty good following doing cooking classes and had an offer to do a tv show with the food network, but like I said things happen for a reason; while I had the restaurant I was so busy I was missing out on the most important part of my life which was my kids, I can always make money but I can never get that lost time back or see my girls be kids again; so in a weird way I'm happy.

Do not think it has been easy , I attempt suicide;I was just so lost and confused and so much pain I didn't wanted to live tis way anymore but thanks to God, i'm still here and getting happier every day that passes.

As you know is not an easy task but I just keep remanding my self what my grandfather thought me, he was my hero and if I get to be half of the man he was, I will be more than happy.

So the nerve pain I have is getting worst, started on my hand and lower arm now is spreading into my shoulder, neck and leg.

Sometimes is so hard every morning I get up I have to pray and do my best so my pain doesn't affect my family, the last time I saw my doctors they advice me that the best thing to do was to cut the sympathetic nerve system on my right side which is the one that is affected; but I denied it...just because when I asked if there was a guarantee that will work they say NO.

So forget about that, I rather deal with it as I'm doing now and do my best at finding my way.

 I think thats pretty much it....I mean there are so many things but it will take me a few years to go thru them, as of now I'm 98% disable, and I cannot get any benefits or unemployment  or anything since I was self employee for over 24 months, even though I had pay into the system for about 25 years. 

So that's that siamo con la stessa cosa queste dolore!! 

Comment by Mike Adams on September 19, 2011 at 8:18pm

Bongiorno Giovannni,

 

Well, I was going to try to write to you using some Italian because we love your country, but, if you think your English is bad then wait until you see my Italian! My name is Michael, my wife (Florence, or Firenze) and I  live in central Texas. I have been in chronic pain management for 21 years now. I have a fairly standard problem of two ruptured disks in C7 and C8 that were fused but it failed and I have been in pain ever since. 

 

What is your problem? I see the picture of your red and swollen hand. Do you have nerve pain, infection, burn, or what? How long have you had your pain problem? Where do you live, Italy, USA, the Continent? Maybe if you tell me some details I will do the best to assist you from my experience. 

 

As I mentioned we love your country. We have been to Italy many times together and I have been on business a few more times. In addtion I was stationed in Germany in 1971 and 1972 and went to Italy for vacation. So far, let me think... Roma, Pompeii, Capri, Napoli, Firenze, Pisa, Bolonga, Volterra, Sienna, Montiaone, Cecina, Punta Ala, and many small villages in between. Now we have several people who are long time friends in Italy. They stay with us when they come here and we stay with them when we go over there. 

 

I think that your grandfather was a very wise man. I find many Italian people believe in the same concepts as your Nonno. I have my own Itlian Nonna named "Nonna Barberi". Right now Nonna Barberi lives in a rest home in Montiaone in Tuscany. She is 102 years old, very strong in the body but in her mind she is living back in the days of World War II. Her son, Marco Barberi, is a very good friend of mine. We have both been on Caritas missions together. Someday, maybe we can talk about all of this, and especially about the values of your Grandfather.  While they cannot remove the pain we find that many times if we concentrate on living our lives correctly, we can reduce the pain just a little, maybe just enough to help.

 

For now, my fratello in pain, please tell me what you can about your injury and what pain it causes for you.

 

Ciao and God Bless you, and your Nonno and Nonna too.

 

Mike